Boots approves! <3
What do you think? Do you like the look of the artificial flowers or is just not your thing? Leave your thoughts in the comments below! :)
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Bouquet Pictures
Just a quick note this time I promise! The flowers I blogged about last week came in and I have been playing around with bouquet styles and looks. Here are are few pictures of the first bouquet I put together. This is the bouquet I'll be carrying down the aisle with a few different additions, once I decide what I want..lol
They bend and lie on the table just like real callas.
They come with 19'' stems from Hobby Lobby. I plan to trim them to just below the ribbon here; I'm also not sure if I like the sheer ribbon or not. : / but I have some time to think about it. :)
What do you think? Do you like the look of the artificial flowers or is just not your thing? Leave your thoughts in the comments below! :)
What do you think? Do you like the look of the artificial flowers or is just not your thing? Leave your thoughts in the comments below! :)
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Budgeting Inspiration!
Last week I talked about budgeting and how to establish a budget for you wedding. This week I'm following up on with personal experience of mine on budgeting to give you a little inspiration!
Recently my fiance and I have been discussing options for flowers for the wedding (bouquets, buttonneires, corsages for the moms/grandmas etc.) and I have been struggling to find a reasonable explanation as to why we're going to spend $900 (this was the budget number based on our handy budget organizer) on something that we were literally going to throw away after the wedding. $900 is more than my total dress cost...on flowers..what?! I'm going to pass out...
So I got creative! (something I pride myself on) Last September (don't judge me!) I purchased my centerpieces that matched out color scheme from a bride that posted her items for sale on Craigslist. She paid $900 for 24 cylinder vases, decorative stones for the bottom of the vases, about 50 Real Touch flowers (artificial flowers that look and feel real) for the vases, 20 yards of tulle, 20 white paper lanterns (she wound up not using) 125 silver chair sashes, 8 apothecary jars, and decorative willow branches. I purchased all this from her for $300! Our wedding will be smaller then hers and we will definitely not need 24 centerpieces or possibly some of the other things but the flowers and vases alone made this a steal! Not to mention I could resell these things after our wedding..
Fast forward to needing flowers for the bridal party/family members....
I really liked the look of the flowers for our centerpieces (white and purple calla lilies) so I started doing research on what it would cost for real flowers through florists. WOAH! Crazy! I'm talking $250+ for just the bridal bouquet! Now I know we have $900 to spend but I knew I could do better...I can coupon/save on anything...ask my friends and family..lol full price is NOT an option!
Enter step one of budgeting. I wasn't sure where the bride I got my awesome centerpieces from got her Real Touch flowers so I Googled florists, etsy dealers, and the like to see if I could find someone that sold Real Touch bouquets. I found some but, I didn't like the looks of their bouquets and they were coming from over-seas and could literally take anywhere from 6-8 months to arrive! No returns or exchanges so if we didn't like them we were stuck with them. :( hmmm...More research.... and TADA! I found it! A weddingwire.com forum of brides discussing real touch flowers and where to buy them (cue Hallelujahs!)
Upon reading the reviews and opinions of these other brides, I knew this is the route I wanted to take! Hobby Lobby (those of you who don't know, this is the most AMAZING craft/home decor store ever!) sells these flowers..AND they have 50% all floral sales ever other week! OMG! OMG!
I sat down and made a list of flowers I would need to create bouquets for myself, my maids, and buttonniers for the men and other family members, as well as corsages. In total in needed 70 flowers. I pulled up the Hobby Lobby website and discovered that the small size flowers typically sell for $1.99 and the large flowers sell for $3.99 (before the sale). With some quick calculation I estimated our cost to be around $150 for ALL flowers before the sale price and with a combination of large and small flowers depending on how they looked. A quick check of the weekly flyer revealed that the flowers were indeed on sale this week! OMG AWESOME!
So yesterday I packed up my finance and we took a trip up to Hobby Lobby to see if they had the flowers that matched our centerpieces in stock. They did! But the large flowers were too large, and they did not have enough small flowers on the floor to fulfill the total we needed. The weddingwire forum also mentioned that Hobby Lobby will allow you to order in bulk and get the sale price.
TO THE REGISTER!!!!!!!
This being my first experience at Hobby Lobby I kindly asked the lady at the register if it was possible to fill a bulk order for the flowers I needed, and she was very helpful in explaining the process. I told her what I needed and she filled out the Rain Check form and gave me all the information I needed to pick up my order next week (the truck delivers on Tuesdays so my order should be ready for pick up on Wednesday!) Oh, and we still got the 50% off!
So to recap that, we got 70 small flowers (enough for all bridal party and family members) for 50% off $1.99.
In total we paid $75.22 including tax for our flowers. For a total savings for just the flowers, of $824.78
Yes you read that correctly! And now the girls/moms/grandmas can keep their bouquets/corsages for ever! How cute would that be to put them in a shadow box with pictures of the day and the invitation? What a great gift! :)
Our decorations budget was $450 and we were able to get the centerpieces for $300 for a total savings on centerpieces of $150.
Between centerpieces and flowers we've already saved $975!
Be smart! This process really does work! Keep calm and coupon (save) on!
I hope this inspires you to look for great deals! Have a great day!
Feel free to leave questions or comments below! :)
Recently my fiance and I have been discussing options for flowers for the wedding (bouquets, buttonneires, corsages for the moms/grandmas etc.) and I have been struggling to find a reasonable explanation as to why we're going to spend $900 (this was the budget number based on our handy budget organizer) on something that we were literally going to throw away after the wedding. $900 is more than my total dress cost...on flowers..what?! I'm going to pass out...
So I got creative! (something I pride myself on) Last September (don't judge me!) I purchased my centerpieces that matched out color scheme from a bride that posted her items for sale on Craigslist. She paid $900 for 24 cylinder vases, decorative stones for the bottom of the vases, about 50 Real Touch flowers (artificial flowers that look and feel real) for the vases, 20 yards of tulle, 20 white paper lanterns (she wound up not using) 125 silver chair sashes, 8 apothecary jars, and decorative willow branches. I purchased all this from her for $300! Our wedding will be smaller then hers and we will definitely not need 24 centerpieces or possibly some of the other things but the flowers and vases alone made this a steal! Not to mention I could resell these things after our wedding..
Fast forward to needing flowers for the bridal party/family members....
I really liked the look of the flowers for our centerpieces (white and purple calla lilies) so I started doing research on what it would cost for real flowers through florists. WOAH! Crazy! I'm talking $250+ for just the bridal bouquet! Now I know we have $900 to spend but I knew I could do better...I can coupon/save on anything...ask my friends and family..lol full price is NOT an option!
Enter step one of budgeting. I wasn't sure where the bride I got my awesome centerpieces from got her Real Touch flowers so I Googled florists, etsy dealers, and the like to see if I could find someone that sold Real Touch bouquets. I found some but, I didn't like the looks of their bouquets and they were coming from over-seas and could literally take anywhere from 6-8 months to arrive! No returns or exchanges so if we didn't like them we were stuck with them. :( hmmm...More research.... and TADA! I found it! A weddingwire.com forum of brides discussing real touch flowers and where to buy them (cue Hallelujahs!)
Upon reading the reviews and opinions of these other brides, I knew this is the route I wanted to take! Hobby Lobby (those of you who don't know, this is the most AMAZING craft/home decor store ever!) sells these flowers..AND they have 50% all floral sales ever other week! OMG! OMG!
I sat down and made a list of flowers I would need to create bouquets for myself, my maids, and buttonniers for the men and other family members, as well as corsages. In total in needed 70 flowers. I pulled up the Hobby Lobby website and discovered that the small size flowers typically sell for $1.99 and the large flowers sell for $3.99 (before the sale). With some quick calculation I estimated our cost to be around $150 for ALL flowers before the sale price and with a combination of large and small flowers depending on how they looked. A quick check of the weekly flyer revealed that the flowers were indeed on sale this week! OMG AWESOME!
So yesterday I packed up my finance and we took a trip up to Hobby Lobby to see if they had the flowers that matched our centerpieces in stock. They did! But the large flowers were too large, and they did not have enough small flowers on the floor to fulfill the total we needed. The weddingwire forum also mentioned that Hobby Lobby will allow you to order in bulk and get the sale price.
TO THE REGISTER!!!!!!!
This being my first experience at Hobby Lobby I kindly asked the lady at the register if it was possible to fill a bulk order for the flowers I needed, and she was very helpful in explaining the process. I told her what I needed and she filled out the Rain Check form and gave me all the information I needed to pick up my order next week (the truck delivers on Tuesdays so my order should be ready for pick up on Wednesday!) Oh, and we still got the 50% off!
So to recap that, we got 70 small flowers (enough for all bridal party and family members) for 50% off $1.99.
In total we paid $75.22 including tax for our flowers. For a total savings for just the flowers, of $824.78
Yes you read that correctly! And now the girls/moms/grandmas can keep their bouquets/corsages for ever! How cute would that be to put them in a shadow box with pictures of the day and the invitation? What a great gift! :)
Our decorations budget was $450 and we were able to get the centerpieces for $300 for a total savings on centerpieces of $150.
Between centerpieces and flowers we've already saved $975!
Be smart! This process really does work! Keep calm and coupon (save) on!
I hope this inspires you to look for great deals! Have a great day!
Feel free to leave questions or comments below! :)
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Budgeting for the Big Day
Hello Friends!
First of all sorry this post is so late... I totally forgot to publish it yesterday! Whoops! Planning is getting to me!
Anyway, we have covered the initial planning stages and valuing other opinions, so to me it only makes sense to move on to budgeting. YAY! (I love budgets...and coupons.. and free stuff!)
As you know from your research at costofwedding.com/, weddings are expensive. Like, ridiculously expensive! But never fear, there are ways to trim some of the costs down. Here are the steps we took to establish our budget:
Step 1: Do your Research. Sound familiar? It should! (hint: see above mention of "costofwedding.com"). Research is the key to establishing a more accurate budget. Once you know what it typically costs to hold a reception in your area and what you get for all that money spent, it's easy to get a rough idea of what it should cost you. Keep in mind that at this point you are ESTIMATING, just because the average wedding costs $27,000 in your area, doesn't mean yours will too. Your guests, food options, bar options, location, and miscellaneous expenses will most likely be different than the example given on any website or in a wedding planning book.
Step 2: Choose your Number. Once you've discovered how much it typically costs to host a wedding in your area, you should sit down and determine how much you're comfortable spending. Just because the average person spends $27,000 on a wedding in your area doesn't mean you have to. You are not average, you are you! You can do what you want and still have an amazing day without breaking the bank. Once you and your fiance, you and your parents, you and your finance's parents (depending on who is paying for the day) have established this number, everything gets a little easier (in theory). This number should be considered your maximum limit, and it should also be determined if this maximum limit includes taxes, fees, gratuities etc. Doing this allows everyone to know exactly how much you want or don't want to spend.
Step 3: Create your Guest List. This is a huge part of your budget! Majority of your expenses will come from the reception. The more people you feed, the more expensive it gets (no matter what you're serving). The best way to go about generating this list is to ask your parents from both sides to make a list of people that they would like to invite (it's their day too!), then create a list of people you and your fiance would like to invite. Be sure to include relatives/friends that should receive an invitation but may not necessarily attend. Doing this will give you a "worst case scenario." (what a bad analogy when talking about weddings...sorry) For example "worst case scenario: we have to feed 175 people." Budgeting this way will give you a little wiggle room in the long run. Once you have your "worst case scenario" number of guests, you can use that number to estimate your venue costs.
If the average cost for a reception in your area is $50 per person including cocktail hour, hor's devours, and dinner (covering majority of venue costs) you would simply do the math:
175 people at $50/person = roughly $8,750
Again this is a rough estimate! This number may change as you get closer to the date, or if you decide to book with a different venue that could have different rates. You must also remember that currently this number does NOT include tips, fees, and sales tax (which will all vary from venue to venue, state to state, etc.)
Step 4: Make a List or Two or Three or Five. This may seem redundant but lists and spreadsheets really do work wonders when planning such an enormous event. Using the maximum number you established in step 2, create a list of necessities, wants, and splurges that will be involved in the whole wedding process. For those of you who may be a little rusty, a necessity is something that you absolutely must have in order to make the day successful. Example: clothing (unless you're nudists and so is the rest of your family...) things on this list should include things the day cannot be successful without (marriage license?..hmm that was probably a better example :P). Wants are things that would be awesome to have, but are not requirements to make the day run smoothly. Example: doves to release at the ceremony, or P-Diddy preforming live at the reception (definitely NOT required for a successful wedding day). Finally splurges: this should be obvious, these are things that are expensive wants. I want 24k plates to serve the reception meal on because that's awesome...would be considered a splurge (so would P-Diddy but I needed another example :P). Absolutely unnecessary and expensive, you get the point.
Once you have all those things listed out start plugging in your costs that you will allocate for each. I started with the reception/venue because it was the most expensive. From there you can see how much you have left to divvy out to other expenses. Be realistic when allocating your money! Your dress should not be more than the venue! Do you need to have $25 favors...no...do you need favor at all? NO. This is where you can decide what is and is not important in making your day fun! Instead of favors put that money toward something that is important to you. I've seen weddings that have donated money to different charities rather than spend it on favors. If you're going to spend it just to spend it why not support a good cause? This is where you can run free on ideas and play around with the numbers to determine what works for you.
Step 5: Monitor and Maintain. Especially when first starting a budget, it is important to keep it updated and monitor the inflow or outflow of money spent. As your RSVPs come back you will have a more accurate number of guests to go by, therefore a more accurate number when estimating the venue cost. Adjust as you can. If you find a venue under what you want to (or can) spend ...awesome! Use that money for one of your splurges or wants. Just be sure to update both categories (deduct from venue because you're spending less, then add to splurge/want 1.) Keep your budget in mind when shopping for gifts, favors or even vendors. Don't feel obligated to spend all the money you have allocated for each item. Shop around for the best deal and stick to your guns! Don't let vendors or anyone else talk into spending more than your comfortable spending. Chances are vendors will work with you on pricing/over all costs to earn your business. They want to keep a good reputation and you want a good deal..it's a win-win.
As long as you keep your budget in mind when shopping for wedding goodies, you'll be fine.
Step 6: Start Early. This applies to budgeting, saving, and spending. If you establish your budget early you will have more time to save up. The more you save, the better off you will be in that moment when you forgot to buy "xyz". Saving more doesn't have to mean spending more, but it may give you more options when you are shopping around. Maybe you don't really like any of the photographer's work in your current budget range, you could dip into the "overflow" to get what you really want.
Starting early also applies to spending. I know some of my friend/family think I'm nuts for starting our planning so early but, if you can get a good deal on centerpieces now and it's what you're looking for, why not pay for them and store them away until needed? They won't go bad. Buying in increments will also ease the overall sticker shock at the end (I refuse to take out a loan for our wedding!). If you spend a little, save a little each month, it makes things less stressful than trying to come up with $10,000 cash on one day. Saving as you spend can also help you reach goals for after your wedding, ie; buying a house, a honeymoon. The extra you're saving could go toward the wedding when or if needed, but once you reach your max budget limit, that extra could accumulate for a large purchase or to cover additional expenses after the ceremony (taxes, fees, gratuities, if you didn't include them originally). This way you won't be "flat broke" after your big day and can have a starting point for your next "big day" in life (purchasing a home, having a baby, college fund, buying your first Ferrari...just kidding!)
Did I forget anything? Thoughts, comments? If you need help with the budget spreadsheet let me know! I'd gladly help you out! :)
First of all sorry this post is so late... I totally forgot to publish it yesterday! Whoops! Planning is getting to me!
Anyway, we have covered the initial planning stages and valuing other opinions, so to me it only makes sense to move on to budgeting. YAY! (I love budgets...and coupons.. and free stuff!)
As you know from your research at costofwedding.com/, weddings are expensive. Like, ridiculously expensive! But never fear, there are ways to trim some of the costs down. Here are the steps we took to establish our budget:
Step 1: Do your Research. Sound familiar? It should! (hint: see above mention of "costofwedding.com"). Research is the key to establishing a more accurate budget. Once you know what it typically costs to hold a reception in your area and what you get for all that money spent, it's easy to get a rough idea of what it should cost you. Keep in mind that at this point you are ESTIMATING, just because the average wedding costs $27,000 in your area, doesn't mean yours will too. Your guests, food options, bar options, location, and miscellaneous expenses will most likely be different than the example given on any website or in a wedding planning book.
Step 2: Choose your Number. Once you've discovered how much it typically costs to host a wedding in your area, you should sit down and determine how much you're comfortable spending. Just because the average person spends $27,000 on a wedding in your area doesn't mean you have to. You are not average, you are you! You can do what you want and still have an amazing day without breaking the bank. Once you and your fiance, you and your parents, you and your finance's parents (depending on who is paying for the day) have established this number, everything gets a little easier (in theory). This number should be considered your maximum limit, and it should also be determined if this maximum limit includes taxes, fees, gratuities etc. Doing this allows everyone to know exactly how much you want or don't want to spend.
Step 3: Create your Guest List. This is a huge part of your budget! Majority of your expenses will come from the reception. The more people you feed, the more expensive it gets (no matter what you're serving). The best way to go about generating this list is to ask your parents from both sides to make a list of people that they would like to invite (it's their day too!), then create a list of people you and your fiance would like to invite. Be sure to include relatives/friends that should receive an invitation but may not necessarily attend. Doing this will give you a "worst case scenario." (what a bad analogy when talking about weddings...sorry) For example "worst case scenario: we have to feed 175 people." Budgeting this way will give you a little wiggle room in the long run. Once you have your "worst case scenario" number of guests, you can use that number to estimate your venue costs.
If the average cost for a reception in your area is $50 per person including cocktail hour, hor's devours, and dinner (covering majority of venue costs) you would simply do the math:
175 people at $50/person = roughly $8,750
Again this is a rough estimate! This number may change as you get closer to the date, or if you decide to book with a different venue that could have different rates. You must also remember that currently this number does NOT include tips, fees, and sales tax (which will all vary from venue to venue, state to state, etc.)
Step 4: Make a List or Two or Three or Five. This may seem redundant but lists and spreadsheets really do work wonders when planning such an enormous event. Using the maximum number you established in step 2, create a list of necessities, wants, and splurges that will be involved in the whole wedding process. For those of you who may be a little rusty, a necessity is something that you absolutely must have in order to make the day successful. Example: clothing (unless you're nudists and so is the rest of your family...) things on this list should include things the day cannot be successful without (marriage license?..hmm that was probably a better example :P). Wants are things that would be awesome to have, but are not requirements to make the day run smoothly. Example: doves to release at the ceremony, or P-Diddy preforming live at the reception (definitely NOT required for a successful wedding day). Finally splurges: this should be obvious, these are things that are expensive wants. I want 24k plates to serve the reception meal on because that's awesome...would be considered a splurge (so would P-Diddy but I needed another example :P). Absolutely unnecessary and expensive, you get the point.
Once you have all those things listed out start plugging in your costs that you will allocate for each. I started with the reception/venue because it was the most expensive. From there you can see how much you have left to divvy out to other expenses. Be realistic when allocating your money! Your dress should not be more than the venue! Do you need to have $25 favors...no...do you need favor at all? NO. This is where you can decide what is and is not important in making your day fun! Instead of favors put that money toward something that is important to you. I've seen weddings that have donated money to different charities rather than spend it on favors. If you're going to spend it just to spend it why not support a good cause? This is where you can run free on ideas and play around with the numbers to determine what works for you.
Step 5: Monitor and Maintain. Especially when first starting a budget, it is important to keep it updated and monitor the inflow or outflow of money spent. As your RSVPs come back you will have a more accurate number of guests to go by, therefore a more accurate number when estimating the venue cost. Adjust as you can. If you find a venue under what you want to (or can) spend ...awesome! Use that money for one of your splurges or wants. Just be sure to update both categories (deduct from venue because you're spending less, then add to splurge/want 1.) Keep your budget in mind when shopping for gifts, favors or even vendors. Don't feel obligated to spend all the money you have allocated for each item. Shop around for the best deal and stick to your guns! Don't let vendors or anyone else talk into spending more than your comfortable spending. Chances are vendors will work with you on pricing/over all costs to earn your business. They want to keep a good reputation and you want a good deal..it's a win-win.
As long as you keep your budget in mind when shopping for wedding goodies, you'll be fine.
Step 6: Start Early. This applies to budgeting, saving, and spending. If you establish your budget early you will have more time to save up. The more you save, the better off you will be in that moment when you forgot to buy "xyz". Saving more doesn't have to mean spending more, but it may give you more options when you are shopping around. Maybe you don't really like any of the photographer's work in your current budget range, you could dip into the "overflow" to get what you really want.
Starting early also applies to spending. I know some of my friend/family think I'm nuts for starting our planning so early but, if you can get a good deal on centerpieces now and it's what you're looking for, why not pay for them and store them away until needed? They won't go bad. Buying in increments will also ease the overall sticker shock at the end (I refuse to take out a loan for our wedding!). If you spend a little, save a little each month, it makes things less stressful than trying to come up with $10,000 cash on one day. Saving as you spend can also help you reach goals for after your wedding, ie; buying a house, a honeymoon. The extra you're saving could go toward the wedding when or if needed, but once you reach your max budget limit, that extra could accumulate for a large purchase or to cover additional expenses after the ceremony (taxes, fees, gratuities, if you didn't include them originally). This way you won't be "flat broke" after your big day and can have a starting point for your next "big day" in life (purchasing a home, having a baby, college fund, buying your first Ferrari...just kidding!)
Did I forget anything? Thoughts, comments? If you need help with the budget spreadsheet let me know! I'd gladly help you out! :)
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Your Day But NOT All About You
So far I've covered how to get ready to start your planning, today I'm go to cover one of the most discussed topics about wedding planning. Other's opinions. Who can or can't have a say, who gets to have a say about what, ect. This post is to help you understand where your friends and family are coming from when the so graciously offer their opinions on "your day."
First things first:
It's been told that the wedding/wedding day/wedding process is all about the Bride. How she looks, what she wants, how she wants the groom/bridesmaids, groomsmen, mothers to look, she decides what venue to use, the flowers are her favorite, the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and the list goes on.
NEWS FLASH! It's NOT all about the bride. A wedding is a union of TWO people and a celebration of two FAMILIES coming together as one. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news :( but someone had to say it.
Now don't get me wrong it's perfectly fine to choose your colors, your dress, your hairstyle etc. and possibly the bridesmaids' dresses. BUT (and this is a big but..) it's also important to take other opinions into consideration. After all the groom should be able to have a say in what HE is wearing (don't you think?) I wouldn't want someone bossing me around saying you are required to wear this, and the same goes for the mothers/grandmothers, fathers etc.
Planning is a grueling process and believe me you cannot do it alone! And who is the first person or people you would turn to for support? FAMILY (or close friends that count as family). Having your family and friends there to support you is what makes wedding planning so special. These people have been there through thick and thin in throughout every other part of your life, why would you not want their support/help on your big day? I'm also not saying you have to implement everything that each family member says is important, but it is important to hear them out. Now-a-days majority of couples are marrying later in life and are paying for all or most of their weddings on their own so it's easy to for them to forget that the wedding is a celebration for their parents/families as well. Think about it, how excited were they when you told them you were engaged? Wouldn't you want to help make sure your child's or best friend's or sister's wedding was the best day of their life?..Yeah I thought so. :) With this being said, it's important to understand that just because they are your family (mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, and everyone else) it's safe to say you may not agree with everything they have to say about your wedding. Hello, this is what makes you a family! Thanksgiving dinners and Christmases just wouldn't be any fun if everyone had the same opinions and values all the time....oh boy would that be boring!
Another aspect that goes hand in hand with valuing opinions is to not lose yourselves as a couple and as individual in the planning process. Weddings and the wedding industry in particular, have put an enormous amount of pressure on the bride and groom to have the most elegant, extravagant, fancy, chic, expensive wedding ever because it's what is "expected." No offence to those out there who plan on have a $50,000+ wedding (congrats if you are that's freakin' awesome!), but that's just not our thing. My finance an I are no frills, low maintenance, go-with-the-flow kind of people. Why would we change that for our wedding? We aren't going to enforce the "black tie" affair dress code, or the everyone but the bride wears black thing. Not for nothing, if you want to wear jeans, by all means wear what you want. The point is that you're there (you have clothes on....) and you're celebrating with us! No one is going to remember what your guests wore to the wedding, you yourself as a bride/groom or family member of those getting married most likely won't remember what the color of the napkins on the tables were without looking at a picture. But you will remember what it FELT like. Having all the people you love in one place at the same time to celebrate the beginning of your new life. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT!
It is important to understand that planning can be stressful with so many opinions (wanted or unwanted) floating around. Keep in mind that these people are trying to help, they're excited, and sometimes they don't realize that they're not on the same page as you. Relax, and take a moment to fill them in on exactly what you are looking for and how their idea will work or will not work for you personally, or as a couple. Communication is key! If they don't know that you don't want to ride in on a four-wheeler, toting a shotgun, wearing an all camouflage dress, they'll think it's the greatest idea ever and that if you don't do it, you don't value their opinion. Take time to explain your plan and involve them in the other details that they may like/be good at instead. What I mean by explaining is; gently breaking it to them that their grand idea may not necessarily work for you. It is difficult to maintain your composure and stay on point with so many ideas, needs, and stress just waiting to explode at the very next person who says the wrong thing. I get it....believe me. Planning is by no means easy, sometimes it's not even fun. We have had our fair share of "heated discussions" and tears because someone's comments/opinion were taken out of context. But that doesn't mean you have to go all Bridezilla on someone when they are trying to offer you help. Be nice about it! Maybe they have much better taste in wedding food, than wedding attire, have them help with the menu or seek their opinion when your not sure which wine to pair with dinner, or if you need an opinion on whether they think having a three course meal with a fruit cup as the first course (-_- ugh the fruit cups! ) will please your guests the most. Lastly, if you need to vent, then by all means call your best friend, your mom, your sister, your fiancè, whomever, and vent! They get it! Even if they have no idea what or whom your talking about they have always been there to get you through tough/annoying/I'm going to kill someone moments. I'm confident they would have no problem helping you through your current crisis.
Use these opinions to your advantage! You know the old saying "It takes a village to raise a child."? The same goes for planning a wedding. It takes a whole team. Hence the reason why people are making oodles of dollars running wedding planning businesses (Man, I'm in the wrong field)! If someone offers an opinion/idea that may not work perfectly, talk it over with them and explain what you liked about their idea and invite them to take the lead on that part of the planning. If they say "I know someone who can...(insert awesome connection in the wedding planning business)" then by all means seek their help! Just like in job hunting, networking is HUGE and could save you tons of money in the end. Have that relative/friend be the contact person for whatever service they have a connection with, and have them gather the information and present it to you based on the likes and dislikes you previously discussed. Then go together to meet the vendor(s), and have them help you with creating the perfect package price/negotiations to get the best deal. Teamwork works wonders and will reduce your stress tremendously all while involving people who care the most about you and your groom during your planning process. It's a total win-win! :)
Keep calm, communicate, and be thankful you have these people that care so much!
Thoughts? Share in the comments section below!
First things first:
It's been told that the wedding/wedding day/wedding process is all about the Bride. How she looks, what she wants, how she wants the groom/bridesmaids, groomsmen, mothers to look, she decides what venue to use, the flowers are her favorite, the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and the list goes on.
NEWS FLASH! It's NOT all about the bride. A wedding is a union of TWO people and a celebration of two FAMILIES coming together as one. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news :( but someone had to say it.
Now don't get me wrong it's perfectly fine to choose your colors, your dress, your hairstyle etc. and possibly the bridesmaids' dresses. BUT (and this is a big but..) it's also important to take other opinions into consideration. After all the groom should be able to have a say in what HE is wearing (don't you think?) I wouldn't want someone bossing me around saying you are required to wear this, and the same goes for the mothers/grandmothers, fathers etc.
Planning is a grueling process and believe me you cannot do it alone! And who is the first person or people you would turn to for support? FAMILY (or close friends that count as family). Having your family and friends there to support you is what makes wedding planning so special. These people have been there through thick and thin in throughout every other part of your life, why would you not want their support/help on your big day? I'm also not saying you have to implement everything that each family member says is important, but it is important to hear them out. Now-a-days majority of couples are marrying later in life and are paying for all or most of their weddings on their own so it's easy to for them to forget that the wedding is a celebration for their parents/families as well. Think about it, how excited were they when you told them you were engaged? Wouldn't you want to help make sure your child's or best friend's or sister's wedding was the best day of their life?..Yeah I thought so. :) With this being said, it's important to understand that just because they are your family (mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, and everyone else) it's safe to say you may not agree with everything they have to say about your wedding. Hello, this is what makes you a family! Thanksgiving dinners and Christmases just wouldn't be any fun if everyone had the same opinions and values all the time....oh boy would that be boring!
Another aspect that goes hand in hand with valuing opinions is to not lose yourselves as a couple and as individual in the planning process. Weddings and the wedding industry in particular, have put an enormous amount of pressure on the bride and groom to have the most elegant, extravagant, fancy, chic, expensive wedding ever because it's what is "expected." No offence to those out there who plan on have a $50,000+ wedding (congrats if you are that's freakin' awesome!), but that's just not our thing. My finance an I are no frills, low maintenance, go-with-the-flow kind of people. Why would we change that for our wedding? We aren't going to enforce the "black tie" affair dress code, or the everyone but the bride wears black thing. Not for nothing, if you want to wear jeans, by all means wear what you want. The point is that you're there (you have clothes on....) and you're celebrating with us! No one is going to remember what your guests wore to the wedding, you yourself as a bride/groom or family member of those getting married most likely won't remember what the color of the napkins on the tables were without looking at a picture. But you will remember what it FELT like. Having all the people you love in one place at the same time to celebrate the beginning of your new life. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT!
It is important to understand that planning can be stressful with so many opinions (wanted or unwanted) floating around. Keep in mind that these people are trying to help, they're excited, and sometimes they don't realize that they're not on the same page as you. Relax, and take a moment to fill them in on exactly what you are looking for and how their idea will work or will not work for you personally, or as a couple. Communication is key! If they don't know that you don't want to ride in on a four-wheeler, toting a shotgun, wearing an all camouflage dress, they'll think it's the greatest idea ever and that if you don't do it, you don't value their opinion. Take time to explain your plan and involve them in the other details that they may like/be good at instead. What I mean by explaining is; gently breaking it to them that their grand idea may not necessarily work for you. It is difficult to maintain your composure and stay on point with so many ideas, needs, and stress just waiting to explode at the very next person who says the wrong thing. I get it....believe me. Planning is by no means easy, sometimes it's not even fun. We have had our fair share of "heated discussions" and tears because someone's comments/opinion were taken out of context. But that doesn't mean you have to go all Bridezilla on someone when they are trying to offer you help. Be nice about it! Maybe they have much better taste in wedding food, than wedding attire, have them help with the menu or seek their opinion when your not sure which wine to pair with dinner, or if you need an opinion on whether they think having a three course meal with a fruit cup as the first course (-_- ugh the fruit cups! ) will please your guests the most. Lastly, if you need to vent, then by all means call your best friend, your mom, your sister, your fiancè, whomever, and vent! They get it! Even if they have no idea what or whom your talking about they have always been there to get you through tough/annoying/I'm going to kill someone moments. I'm confident they would have no problem helping you through your current crisis.
Use these opinions to your advantage! You know the old saying "It takes a village to raise a child."? The same goes for planning a wedding. It takes a whole team. Hence the reason why people are making oodles of dollars running wedding planning businesses (Man, I'm in the wrong field)! If someone offers an opinion/idea that may not work perfectly, talk it over with them and explain what you liked about their idea and invite them to take the lead on that part of the planning. If they say "I know someone who can...(insert awesome connection in the wedding planning business)" then by all means seek their help! Just like in job hunting, networking is HUGE and could save you tons of money in the end. Have that relative/friend be the contact person for whatever service they have a connection with, and have them gather the information and present it to you based on the likes and dislikes you previously discussed. Then go together to meet the vendor(s), and have them help you with creating the perfect package price/negotiations to get the best deal. Teamwork works wonders and will reduce your stress tremendously all while involving people who care the most about you and your groom during your planning process. It's a total win-win! :)
Keep calm, communicate, and be thankful you have these people that care so much!
Thoughts? Share in the comments section below!
Monday, February 4, 2013
Tips for Surviving the Initial Planning Stages
First and foremost welcome back! (hopefully you're back!)..If not Welcome and I hope you enjoy today's post!
Today I'll cover how to get through the initial planning stages of your wedding..because believe me it's VERY overwhelming! Feel free to post any questions or suggestions in the comments section below!
Without further ado:
1. CELEBRATE! You're engaged! Live it up! Call your family, call your friends, shout it on the streets(well maybe not in the streets, people might think you're weird) you know what I mean. Enjoy it! This is most likely one of the most exciting times of your life, take the time to celebrate and soak it up. Along with celebrating (however you may do that, parties, dinner with friends, a lazy night on the couch with your new fiancè and a bottle of champagne, etc.) take the time to just enjoy the moment before you jump into planning.
2. RELAX! After your initial celebration you'll soon realize there is A LOT to do! DON'T PANIC! First of all there is no right or wrong way to go about your planning. I'm not going to say you have to choose a venue immediately you also do not need to set a date as soon as you get the ring. Take your time! The dress shopping, centerpieces, decorations, color scheme, theme, and whatever else the wedding industry says are "tradition" are NOT necessities! No matter who says otherwise. Take your time and figure out what you two want your day to look like and what is and isn't important to you. Once you establish that, it will be smooth sailing.
3. GET ORGANIZED For me this meant starting with a budget (I can't help it it's the Business Teacher in me...and those of you who know me know I am a budget queen!) In order to determine what we wanted to spend, we first created a guest list to see how many people we would be feeding. This does not have to be the final draft, but it is an excellent starting point. Once you've established your total guest count it's much easier to get an accurate idea of how much you'll be spending. Do some research about the average cost of a wedding in your area. A great resource is costofawedding.com. Type in your zip code and it will give you the average cost of a wedding in your county, and even breaks the overall cost down into major purchases (attire, invitation, rings etc.) and explains in detail what each subcategory includes.
Start a wedding binder or get a wedding organizer. One of the best gifts that I received was from my sister Jamie last Christmas (love ya sissy!). Its a wedding planner/organizer all in one; The Ultimate Wedding Planning Guide by Elizabeth and Alex Lunch. You can purchase this awesome guide/organizer here.
.
I highly recommend this amazing book to anyone who's just starting out with their planning. Everything from the ceremony, photography, flowers and gifts are covered. As well as a budget guide and vendor contact sheets and planning tools. I use this handy little book to keep track of what we have completed, (they provide checklists and tracking charts!..type A personality kicking in!) what we might need to work on and some of the stuff I have no idea about. For example Reception Cards, Ceremony Cards, Rain Cards, Pew Cards...seriously?!...This awesome book breaks everything down for you and explains each aspect and what their role is on the big day.
Along with the book, my best friend Janet (love you too <3) started a wedding binder for us...(Yes I need both, again with the type A all the way personality :P) In the binder is where I keep all my inspiration for things we have yet to accomplish or how I imagine certain things looking; ie. centerpieces, bridesmaids' dresses, favors etc. This is also a great place to keep all your contracts, and notes/important documents from meetings and bridal shows. Which brings me to my next step.
4. ATTEND A BRIDAL SHOW Ok, so I know I said that you shouldn't jump in too quickly but this step is really still part of step 3 and it's the easiest way to gather a lot of information in one easy convenient location especially if you're new to an area (ie. moved there for college and decided to stay, recently relocated for a job etc.) The best decision my fiancè and I made was to attend a bridal show in our area. First of all it was FREE yes FREE! This is an amazing thing considering we're talking about the wedding industry!! (most shows are, the bride can register for free and bring as many people as she likes!) We had no idea what kind of vendors were out there and what to expect from wedding service providers, so we thought this would be the best place to gather a bunch of information to get started. Now don't get me wrong the show was fun! Champagne tastings, bridal fashion shows, GREAT savings and of course FREE CAKE! I mean come on..who doesn't want free cake?! A word of advice for those considering attending a bridal show for the first time; don't be pressured to make a decision/sign a contract that day. Many of the vendors are expecting couples to sign their life away that day. We were still a little shaky on an official date and what kind of venue we were looking for, for goodness-sakes! DON'T fall for it! It may seem like a great deal at the time and you really enjoyed that cake sample, but you need to shop around for what fits YOUR needs (and budget) best. Take their business card and sign up to be on their e-mail/mailing list. Then thank them for their time and move along. The first show we went to I literally had not gotten a chance to take my jacket off and we were being mauled by a DJ chattering about what great services they provide etc. etc. And when I finally was able to get the guy to pause for two seconds, I explained that we had not established a venue/official date yet he gave me a strange look, offered his business card and awkwardly shuffled away. It was crazy! Keep a positive attitude, enjoy the freebies, and keep your mind on what you're their to do; gather information. Don't feel bad if the vendor is providing an amazing deal that day and you don't sign up for it. 98% of the time the vendors will run that deal for a few weeks after the show for those brides/couples that attended and signed up to be on their e-mail/contact list. You most likely will still get that amazing price without the pressure to sign that day. Many times, vendors are also flexible with their deals as well. If you make and appointment with them before their expiration date, they may extend the offer to you once you decide to book with them. We'll talk about this in a later post about negotiations :)
5. REVIEW. Once you have gathered information on vendors that you might want to work with, take time to sit down and review what they offer and how it works (or in some cases, doesn't work) for you. Use your handy wedding guide to record the vendor's name, contact info, and brief description of what they do. In your binder you can print off and keep the specific contract info, and detailed information about your vendors. We narrowed ours down to three vendors per service. With so many vendors to choose from it's easy to get them or the services they provide confused. Having only three options per DJ, venue, caterer, limo service etc. makes thing much more manageable and more organized. We organized our top three choices by price and services provided. Don't worry if one or two of the vendors you choose is over budget right now. Once you are able to establish what you want from each vendor you will most likely be able to customize a package to fit your needs (another topic discussed in vendor negotiations.) After all this is a big day and you should be able to have whatever food or service option you want at a price you can afford. :) That sounds like a great commercial...maybe I should go into advertising... :P
Phew! I know this was A LOT to take in...but never fear I will be breaking down the important stuff in individual posts. This was just an overview to get you started. :) If you have any specific questions as to how we went about establishing our budget, putting together a binder, or anything else you'd just like to know, feel free to leave a comment. For those of you who are also doing your planning, if you'd like to share your input please feel free to comment as well! The more info the better!
Next up: Your Day But NOT All About You. Valuing other's opinions and input. Stay tuned!
Today I'll cover how to get through the initial planning stages of your wedding..because believe me it's VERY overwhelming! Feel free to post any questions or suggestions in the comments section below!
Without further ado:
1. CELEBRATE! You're engaged! Live it up! Call your family, call your friends, shout it on the streets(well maybe not in the streets, people might think you're weird) you know what I mean. Enjoy it! This is most likely one of the most exciting times of your life, take the time to celebrate and soak it up. Along with celebrating (however you may do that, parties, dinner with friends, a lazy night on the couch with your new fiancè and a bottle of champagne, etc.) take the time to just enjoy the moment before you jump into planning.
2. RELAX! After your initial celebration you'll soon realize there is A LOT to do! DON'T PANIC! First of all there is no right or wrong way to go about your planning. I'm not going to say you have to choose a venue immediately you also do not need to set a date as soon as you get the ring. Take your time! The dress shopping, centerpieces, decorations, color scheme, theme, and whatever else the wedding industry says are "tradition" are NOT necessities! No matter who says otherwise. Take your time and figure out what you two want your day to look like and what is and isn't important to you. Once you establish that, it will be smooth sailing.
3. GET ORGANIZED For me this meant starting with a budget (I can't help it it's the Business Teacher in me...and those of you who know me know I am a budget queen!) In order to determine what we wanted to spend, we first created a guest list to see how many people we would be feeding. This does not have to be the final draft, but it is an excellent starting point. Once you've established your total guest count it's much easier to get an accurate idea of how much you'll be spending. Do some research about the average cost of a wedding in your area. A great resource is costofawedding.com. Type in your zip code and it will give you the average cost of a wedding in your county, and even breaks the overall cost down into major purchases (attire, invitation, rings etc.) and explains in detail what each subcategory includes.
Start a wedding binder or get a wedding organizer. One of the best gifts that I received was from my sister Jamie last Christmas (love ya sissy!). Its a wedding planner/organizer all in one; The Ultimate Wedding Planning Guide by Elizabeth and Alex Lunch. You can purchase this awesome guide/organizer here.
I highly recommend this amazing book to anyone who's just starting out with their planning. Everything from the ceremony, photography, flowers and gifts are covered. As well as a budget guide and vendor contact sheets and planning tools. I use this handy little book to keep track of what we have completed, (they provide checklists and tracking charts!..type A personality kicking in!) what we might need to work on and some of the stuff I have no idea about. For example Reception Cards, Ceremony Cards, Rain Cards, Pew Cards...seriously?!...This awesome book breaks everything down for you and explains each aspect and what their role is on the big day.
Along with the book, my best friend Janet (love you too <3) started a wedding binder for us...(Yes I need both, again with the type A all the way personality :P) In the binder is where I keep all my inspiration for things we have yet to accomplish or how I imagine certain things looking; ie. centerpieces, bridesmaids' dresses, favors etc. This is also a great place to keep all your contracts, and notes/important documents from meetings and bridal shows. Which brings me to my next step.
4. ATTEND A BRIDAL SHOW Ok, so I know I said that you shouldn't jump in too quickly but this step is really still part of step 3 and it's the easiest way to gather a lot of information in one easy convenient location especially if you're new to an area (ie. moved there for college and decided to stay, recently relocated for a job etc.) The best decision my fiancè and I made was to attend a bridal show in our area. First of all it was FREE yes FREE! This is an amazing thing considering we're talking about the wedding industry!! (most shows are, the bride can register for free and bring as many people as she likes!) We had no idea what kind of vendors were out there and what to expect from wedding service providers, so we thought this would be the best place to gather a bunch of information to get started. Now don't get me wrong the show was fun! Champagne tastings, bridal fashion shows, GREAT savings and of course FREE CAKE! I mean come on..who doesn't want free cake?! A word of advice for those considering attending a bridal show for the first time; don't be pressured to make a decision/sign a contract that day. Many of the vendors are expecting couples to sign their life away that day. We were still a little shaky on an official date and what kind of venue we were looking for, for goodness-sakes! DON'T fall for it! It may seem like a great deal at the time and you really enjoyed that cake sample, but you need to shop around for what fits YOUR needs (and budget) best. Take their business card and sign up to be on their e-mail/mailing list. Then thank them for their time and move along. The first show we went to I literally had not gotten a chance to take my jacket off and we were being mauled by a DJ chattering about what great services they provide etc. etc. And when I finally was able to get the guy to pause for two seconds, I explained that we had not established a venue/official date yet he gave me a strange look, offered his business card and awkwardly shuffled away. It was crazy! Keep a positive attitude, enjoy the freebies, and keep your mind on what you're their to do; gather information. Don't feel bad if the vendor is providing an amazing deal that day and you don't sign up for it. 98% of the time the vendors will run that deal for a few weeks after the show for those brides/couples that attended and signed up to be on their e-mail/contact list. You most likely will still get that amazing price without the pressure to sign that day. Many times, vendors are also flexible with their deals as well. If you make and appointment with them before their expiration date, they may extend the offer to you once you decide to book with them. We'll talk about this in a later post about negotiations :)
5. REVIEW. Once you have gathered information on vendors that you might want to work with, take time to sit down and review what they offer and how it works (or in some cases, doesn't work) for you. Use your handy wedding guide to record the vendor's name, contact info, and brief description of what they do. In your binder you can print off and keep the specific contract info, and detailed information about your vendors. We narrowed ours down to three vendors per service. With so many vendors to choose from it's easy to get them or the services they provide confused. Having only three options per DJ, venue, caterer, limo service etc. makes thing much more manageable and more organized. We organized our top three choices by price and services provided. Don't worry if one or two of the vendors you choose is over budget right now. Once you are able to establish what you want from each vendor you will most likely be able to customize a package to fit your needs (another topic discussed in vendor negotiations.) After all this is a big day and you should be able to have whatever food or service option you want at a price you can afford. :) That sounds like a great commercial...maybe I should go into advertising... :P
Phew! I know this was A LOT to take in...but never fear I will be breaking down the important stuff in individual posts. This was just an overview to get you started. :) If you have any specific questions as to how we went about establishing our budget, putting together a binder, or anything else you'd just like to know, feel free to leave a comment. For those of you who are also doing your planning, if you'd like to share your input please feel free to comment as well! The more info the better!
Next up: Your Day But NOT All About You. Valuing other's opinions and input. Stay tuned!